I feel like all I ever say lately is no. The word itself is incredibly helpful when helping to create boundaries. Something that I have always struggled with a bit. I don’t want to say no to people. Working with a manipulative personality most days of the week has really helped benefit me in many ways. Working with her has made me more strong in myself. I have always known who I am as a person. Now I understand how to create boundaries with this specific client and with my boss’ as well.
When my boss asked me the other day if I had ever interpreted for a person with low type of mental issues. I responded saying that I had not and that those words made me nervous and uncomfortable and asked what exactly they meant by that. I have told them previously that I can’t work at kindergarden’s and that when I am commuting an hour there that i need to work at LEAST 2 hrs minimum. Otherwise the drive isn’t worth my time or the money. I am going to a convention with a friend in June and I feel like all I am ever saying is no to her and I feel a little bad about it. She wanted to see the Grand Canyon on our drive their or back. But that add’s 3 more hrs onto our trip that is already a 2 day trip and we don’t have time to do that because of when her flight comes in. She wants to go to the beach and I am okay walking on the beach at sunset but I don’t enjoy laying out in the sun plus it isn’t healthy to do that for hours anyways. Two things that I haven’t said no to but I want to is doing our nails and going shopping before we leave. I know that getting our nails done is enjoyable. I just don’t know that I want to do anything different with mine since they already look like I have a French Manicured naturally without doing anything to them. And then I could probably suck it up and go shopping before we leave. It is just hard because I am an introvert and I want to focus on being there. It would be different if we had planned more time to go and sightsee and stuff but we didn’t plan for that. SO now I feel like a buzz kill. However she has said no to some of my ideas and the way she said it felt very unapologetic. So maybe that is just part of being an adult. Saying no and having it be alright.
I have talked to some of my other friends and they say that I am creating boundaries. What I am saying no to is NOT closing me off from new experiences. I am constantly putting myself out there and going out of my comfort zone. Having said that, I know what my limits are and I respect myself enough to know not to go over them. So many people in the world don’t understand how to say no because they want and feel the need to please everyone. Or they are afraid people will be upset if they say no.
I really feel that I am coming into my own. Even if this isn’t the first time I have said that. That doesn’t make it any less true. Part of saying no, is knowing how you deserve to be treated and saying no to when people do something that is unacceptable to you. Especially family. I am still so proud of myself that I was able to stick up for myself in the moment, the last time that my mom was in town. If I can do that then I am able to do anything because standing up to your family is the hardest thing. Which is another thing that is weird in itself because they are the people that love you more then anyone else. I think it is because when you are with your family you typically revert back to who you were when you were a child. I am no longer a child. I have grown, transformed, and come such a long way. I need to prove that to myself and to my family every time I am around them.
ANyways there is so much power in saying no. I am all for it. Even though I feel like I am a buzz kill at the moment. I know who I am and what I need and I am respecting myself. Learning to say no is important as long as you don’t abuse it or use it to hide from experiencing new things. The mental institution that I told my boss’ no to would have been too much negativity for an empath like me to handle and even if it is apparently “minor” I don’t trust people in that situation. I didn’t feel like it was a safe environment for me and that is the best time to say no. There are other things that also terrify me that I wouldn’t want to accept a work assignment for but I do anyways because I know it will help me grow and improve to become a better interpreter and maybe teach me something that I can use in my everyday life as well.
Well, I guess that’s if for now.
Write you next time.