Being a woman sucks. Especially once a month. For those guys out there who don’t believe that being premenstral is a thing, It TOTALLY IS!! It sucks and makes us feel crazy. I was great until I started. I was feeling great. Had a couple of good days that just kept getting better in a row. Then with the excitement of my sisters birthday celebration and all of her friends it just got me more and more exhausted. Then I finally had the day off after everyone went home today. I left before the last couple. I have finally realized that just because I live a mile aways does NOT mean I am obligated to stay until everyone else leaves. So I excused myself and have been laying on the couch watching Netflix most of the day. That would be fine if my mind wasn’t going crazy with things.
It is a little bit hard to explain and I am not sure if anyone will understand but here it goes. I am not like really upset about anything. I have a small need to cry but it hasn’t happened. I don’t feel miserable. I just don’t want to see anyone, I want to be left alone. However at the same time I am lonely and want a friend. It makes no sense, I know and yet that is how I am feeling.
Last I checked I was assuming I was going to have to work tomorrow but they always wait on the weekends to text me till late to figure things out. Lucky tonight it was between 7pm-8pm. I have been asking advice from my friends on what to do but couldn’t seem to get myself to text my boss’. And then instead I get a text from them. Earlier then normal asking If I am still up for it. ANd I wanted to talk to my friends but they had all become busy and so no one responded when I needed them to which is completely understandable. The area where I normally work is on Spring Break so if I choose I didn’t have to work at all this week. That is unless I was interested. I have noticed something about myself. If I have too many days off I get bored and unhappy. I need to have things to do. So having the full week off is not a smart plan for me. However if I give myself Monday to recover a little more then I don’t see that as a problem. Another thing that I am realizing is that there are so many more introverted people in the world then I realize. And NEEDING to take some time or even a day or so to recover from “peopleing” is a total normal and valid thing to need for myself.
A silly and random part of my weekend. My sister said a joke after I tapped out of doing the pile of dishes with the party. There were plenty of people willing to help and my hands were shaking because I hadn’t been drinking enough water. (take care of yourself people. It is important) So anyways, she says, “Jesus never tapped out.” Cause I guess she saw that on a bilboard somewhere once. And I responded with, “Jesus also never had a period!……And.I.DO!” Looking back on it I am a little embarrassed but I wasn’t in the moment so I am trying not to let myself over-think it like I do.
I just had to write some of this down. I know it is probably all over the place but so am I. 😛 Being a woman is hard. You men have NO.IDEA! I still like being a female. I wouldn’t want to change places or anything but still….
I think a new couple has moved in next door. I was creepy and watched through the peep hold in my door. And I care but I am so done and tired about everything that I am not going out of my way to try to meet them. Everyone in this house is “nice” and everyone in the house next door is just the best. Super sweet and wonderful and I just want to interact with all of them on a daily basis.
Write you next time….I guess.