Pain Resides

My brain says I miss you but that is a lie.
I miss who I thought you were.
I miss who I got to be with you.
I miss all the memories and good times we had together.

I don’t miss the drama.
I don’t miss your negativity like an anvil dragging me down.
I don’t miss YOU.
I don’t miss the pain you caused me when you left.
I don’t miss you dumping me like you dump your trash.
I don’t want you back in my life.

You are my angel for stepping out of my life.
I could never have left you.
Thank you.

I HATE you!
I hate you for leaving me alone.
I hate that you were my only friend.
I hate that I gave everything of myself to you.
I hate that you make me feel unloveable.
I hate that your love was conditional.
I hate how much you damaged me.
I hate how I can no longer trust.
I hate that you came back into my life when I was healing nicely.
I hate that now I have to start all over again.
I hate that you make me feel broken.
I hate that you will never fully leave my mind.

I showed you my scars.
I showed you my wounds.
I showed you my pain.
I showed you my worst.
You said it was okay.
You said you still loved me.
You nurtured my pain and broken pieces
And then you stomped all over my face.
You became one of those scarred pieces on my heart.
I gave you my heart.
Trusted you with it.
And I was wrong.
You never get to see my heart again.

I miss you.
My angel.

Now STAY gone.

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