I wanted to write sooner but I didn’t have the time. And now that I have some time back I am not exactly sure what I want to say, just that I want to write again. Everyone has good and bad days. That is part of life.
Okay, let me start again. I wrote what is above a while ago. Then got distracted by life as one does. Now I am excited to write about my 2 wonderful days in a row where nothing too remarkable happened and yet I am on Cloud 9. Just a heads up. Since I am talking about two full days, this is going to be long. So my sister’s birthday was March 16, yesterday. Wow…so much has happened that it feels like way longer then yesterday. Anyways I need to start of with talking about work..:
I really didn’t want to go to work even though it is the closer job and it is only an hour and 15 mins. I didn’t want to have to deal with my “team” and I don’t feel supported enough to even use that word, but there it is. Anyways, I got there earlier then normal so I didn’t have to stress about being on time/late. I come out of the elevator and standing next to the door is a different woman that I have worked with once before and is super sweet. I like her a lot. I ran quickly to the bathroom because the student wasn’t there yet. As I was walking back down the hallway my team, lets call her Dee, is coming to ask me a question. She was totally following my lead because it is normally my class. Long story short….kinda :P, I interpreted for 40 mins and she interpreted for 15. To begin with, that pissed me off. I almost felt as if I was being tested and she was going to report back to my boss’. But, I had over reacted. We ended up walking back to our cars together. And she said that she was so happy I interpreted for most of it because she was looking at em working my ASS OFF interpreting in as much English structure as I could because the student was more English anyways and trying to see what signs I used for specific things. I was literally sweating. Seriously. She apparently thought to herself, “I can’t do that. It’s too much work.” But I am also more comfortable that way because I don’t want to miss any important information. However he was talking way faster then normal because he had to give them all the information from two lectures in one class time. She said I kept up with him (the teacher) well. And that after her car accident she fell way behind in her signing so I actually have been in the profession and interpreting for two years longer then her. And I don’t know if I could have done more ASL grammatical structure in that class or not. I’m happy I don’t need to find out. I needed that type of positive feedback. I mean we all do. All the time. And I really appreciated it. Plus the client seemed to understand and after each class she thanks both interpreters and sometimes students don’t do that. I mean I never expect it. It shows how much you genuinely appreciates what we provide for her. So that was one thing that made me exceptionally happy.
Now it was my sisters birthday so I don’t need to do much about that. What I want to talk about happened while at her house and seemed like a negative at the time but turned into a positive by the end of the night. My mom was in town and had overdone it. She was burnt out and that is never good with anyone but especially with her. I also need to preface with the fact that for as long as I can remember I have had a problem with feet. I don’t like other peoples feet touching me or even getting close to me. There is a point to this I promise. Stick with me. I am more okay when people are wearing socks as long as I know they are clean. To show you how bad it is, I don’t even like to touch my own feet. It doesn’t matter how clean they are, or if I just got out of the shower. Your feet touch the floor and the floor you walk on is dirty. I think it makes sense. So if I touch my feet I right afterwards have to wash my hands. This is probably the weirdest thing about me. But I mean, everyone has something odd like this about themselves as well. So anyways, my feet are cold and so I put them under my sisters blanket. Shortly after my moms feet join under the same blanket which makes me incredibly uncomfortable to start with but she doesn’t care. Then I feel skin touch skin, I react by lifting my legs up and trying to move further into the corner. She things I am “over-reacting.” There is the fucking word again! And the words that, for lack of a better word, Killed me were, “You know what, you just need to get over it.”……….. There is not a long enough pause I can put after that. She is smiling and basically laughing at me as we stare down each other. Normally I break down and laugh but I am FUCKING PISSED!! However it is my sister’s birthday and she is sitting right next to me. In the past I am known to always create problems so I have to control myself however there is no way I can let this go in the moment. I HAVE to say SOMETHING. I have never been more clear in my life. I said, “you are really upsetting me and making me feel crazy and like an awful person and you need to stop it right now.” She proceeds to continue to smile at me and laugh with her eyes and that makes me even more angry. Either she doesn’t get it or she doesn’t care. In the moment it felt like she didn’t care because it didn’t matter to me if she didn’t get it. Somehow we ignored and moved past it which I also didn’t want. So I decided since it wasn’t the time or place I would wait till we were alone at the end of the day and talk to her about it then.
Then at the end of the night we arrive home and park in my apartment pod for my car. When my neighbors come out as well. Now the day before my mom had gotten to meet the successful actor that lived next door. Her husband is the first neighbor I met when I moved in and I have seen him around during the 2 months since I moved in. But I was starting to wonder if she really existed. Anyways, so my mom was lucky enough to have met her and lay all the ground word for me. She told her all the important information about me. And then FINALLY last night I.MET.HER!!!!! And she is wonderful!! She promised me that we will talk. I said I wanted to pick her brain. Her husband is more involved with the music side of things. But might be able to get me free tickets to Chicago in town and then introduce me to people. They both want to do what they can to help make my dream come true. They said they know everyone which means that they have all the connections. And it sounds like they are willing to use them for my advantage. She said she believes in synchronicity. Which I think means the same thing I believe which is, “everything happens for a reason.” I was supposed to move here. Everything is happening just the way it is supposed to. And now I am one of the many people helping take care of one of their dogs while they are out of town for the weekend. He’s blind and just needs to be taken out to pee at night.
Then we went up to my apartment and I talked to my mom. It went great, mostly. She didn’t really let me fully express myself and what I wanted to before she was already apologizing and saying that she does understand. Just that I am so close to “being just like everyone else.”………(dramatic pause)
That is when I had a realization. I know I am not like everyone else and I never will be and after she said that i was like, ‘I don’t want to be.’ Everyone else sucks and I am a rockstar standing in my power! My mom my whole life has told me how difficult everything has been for me and how I have always had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to be close to the same level. That may be true but I wouldn’t know that unless I had someone pointing it out all the time. I know it is meant to show how much I have overcome and how great I am doing but…. Is that her goal for me? To be just like everyone else. Then I would no longer be me. And we were just talking earlier the same day about how I am not that problem child anymore and how she no longer sees me that way. But she apparently does see that I have things I will never overcome and that really are stupid things that aren’t important. She had said something about me having a foot fetish. I was like, “That means that you LOVE feet!! That is the opposite of how I feel!”
Now it is Friday. That was all Thursday. I am tired and trying to get out to two Meetups tonight so I can get to know more people and I think they are fairly close. However I am running out of time. And then I don’t get to sleep in tomorrow because my sister has friends over and is celebrating her birthday with them tomorrow and I am along for the ride as well. And I spoke with another neighbor just now before I started writing this. Got her phone number and last night I FINALLY got the actor’s husbands phone number. (Actor I think is more respectful even when talking about a woman actor. More so then Actress)
Wish me luck. Hope this happy feeling lasts and doesn’t crash and burn in another day or two like it has before.
Thanks for reading.
Write you next time. ^_^